She will.

Each morning, when I wake, I recognize my powerlessness over our situation at hand. I turn this problem over to God and begin my day. Today at our follow up visit with Dr. Saphire he said "If it were not for this scar, you would have never know anything was ever wrong with her". And today I feel powerful. Today the "what if's" are gone and they have turned into "she will's". Brooklynn is about 4 1/2 months old, 10lbs 1oz and 23 inches long. In four weeks she has almost gained 2 lbs. Her Dr. was hoping for a bigger gain but we take what we can get. Her x-rays looked great and her color is now more pink than pale. Brooklynn talked to her Dr., in her own language, the entire time he examined her. It was quite a sight. We have at least 2 more weeks of extreme precautions. No lifting from the arms, no tummy time, no going out. I am ok with this because I get to keep her all to myself and snuggle. We will go back in a month for another check up. I have had to learn to keep in touch with reality and to remember that time is on my side.

Time to catch up

We have been home from the hospital now for 2 weeks. Our stay there is one I never want to do again. Surgery went well and quick. There were three other families there with their children having surgery and I formed a bond with these people just through looks. These people who I had never meet knew exactly how I felt. There is a special waiting area for families going through our situation. You watched as they got updates on their children and sometimes it was smiles and other times it was tears. These were the same updates we got with Brooklynn, some good and some not so good. Our biggest scare was the night after surgery in the the ICU. She was given 2 doses of pain medication and was unable to breath on her own. Tommy and I sat there as we watch her vitals drop rapidly. I cried as I watched thinking how I hadn't been able to hold her and touch her in two days. The Dr.'s and nurses helped her to where she began to breath on her own. We spent 5 nights in the ICU and then were moved to a room. The first night was one of the hardest. She cried for 3 hours. She was given Tylenol for pain and it wasn't working. She went from being on IV's for pain to oral Tylenol. I asked that the Dr. come and look at her. He then asked me what I thought was wrong with her and I lost it. I explained to him that I am not a doctor and I wanted to know what he thought was wrong her. It was not a pretty situation for anyone. She finally fell asleep. She next morning she was hoarse from all the crying. We spent another 2 nights as they slowly weaned her off oxygen. Eight days after surgery we were on our way home. Yes home. The first few days were rough. They told us she has reflux and is on the max dose. This they thought was the cause of long periods of crying. As each day passes things have improved. She has started to smile, giggle, and almost roll from back to tummy. She has also found her toes, it's so cute. She has also moved to her own room and is sleeping in her crib. I can't believe it! We go back to Houston Thursday and we hope everything will continue to look better. Her last x-ray didn't look awesome but not worse. My praying knees are not weak.

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s1600/Brooklynn+082.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s320/Brooklynn+082.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850995708409170" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 325px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s1600/Brooklynn+069.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s320/Brooklynn+069.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850990769886658" border="0" /></a> We have been home from the hospital now for 2 weeks. Our stay there is one I never want to do again. Surgery went well and quick. There were three other families there with their children having surgery and I formed a bond with these people just through looks. These people who I had never meet knew exactly how I felt. There is a special waiting area for families going through our situation. You watched as they got updates on their children and sometimes it was smiles and other times it was tears. These were the same updates we got with Brooklynn, some good and some not so good. Our biggest scare was the night after surgery in the the ICU. She was given 2 doses of pain medication and was unable to breath on her own. Tommy and I sat there as we watch her vitals drop rapidly. I cried as I watched thinking how I hadn't been able to hold her and touch her in two days. The Dr.'s and nurses helped her to where she began to breath on her own. We spent 5 nights in the ICU and then were moved to a room. The first night was one of the hardest. She cried for 3 hours. She was given Tylenol for pain and it wasn't working. She went from being on IV's for pain to oral Tylenol. I asked that the Dr. come and look at her. He then asked me what I thought was wrong with her and I lost it. I explained to him that I am not a doctor and I wanted to know what he thought was wrong her. It was not a pretty situation for anyone. She finally fell asleep. She next morning she was hoarse from all the crying. We spent another 2 nights as they slowly weaned her off oxygen. Eight days after surgery we were on our way home. Yes home. The first few days were rough. They told us she has reflux and is on the max dose. This they thought was the cause of long periods of crying. As each day passes things have improved. She has started to smile, giggle, and almost roll from back to tummy. She has also found her toes, it's so cute. She has also moved to her own room and is sleeping in her crib. I can't believe it! We go back to Houston Thursday and we hope everything will continue to look better. Her last x-ray didn't look awesome but not worse. My praying knees are not weak. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a>

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s1600/Brooklynn+082.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s320/Brooklynn+082.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850995708409170" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 325px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s1600/Brooklynn+069.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s320/Brooklynn+069.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850990769886658" border="0" /></a> We have been home from the hospital now for 2 weeks. Our stay there is one I never want to do again. Surgery went well and quick. There were three other families there with their children having surgery and I formed a bond with these people just through looks. These people who I had never meet knew exactly how I felt. There is a special waiting area for families going through our situation. You watched as they got updates on their children and sometimes it was smiles and other times it was tears. These were the same updates we got with Brooklynn, some good and some not so good. Our biggest scare was the night after surgery in the the ICU. She was given 2 doses of pain medication and was unable to breath on her own. Tommy and I sat there as we watch her vitals drop rapidly. I cried as I watched thinking how I hadn't been able to hold her and touch her in two days. The Dr.'s and nurses helped her to where she began to breath on her own. We spent 5 nights in the ICU and then were moved to a room. The first night was one of the hardest. She cried for 3 hours. She was given Tylenol for pain and it wasn't working. She went from being on IV's for pain to oral Tylenol. I asked that the Dr. come and look at her. He then asked me what I thought was wrong with her and I lost it. I explained to him that I am not a doctor and I wanted to know what he thought was wrong her. It was not a pretty situation for anyone. She finally fell asleep. She next morning she was hoarse from all the crying. We spent another 2 nights as they slowly weaned her off oxygen. Eight days after surgery we were on our way home. Yes home. The first few days were rough. They told us she has reflux and is on the max dose. This they thought was the cause of long periods of crying. As each day passes things have improved. She has started to smile, giggle, and almost roll from back to tummy. She has also found her toes, it's so cute. She has also moved to her own room and is sleeping in her crib. I can't believe it! We go back to Houston Thursday and we hope everything will continue to look better. Her last x-ray didn't look awesome but not worse. My praying knees are not weak. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a>

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s1600/Brooklynn+082.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TMg9D6me6TcRWWymNzbrvyd7rB1bpAXHKg7V-Aihs5u2deP_eD5OCjjL4TaQugw82tucXmsBmDn2jlUogYT6ch82O6rtsrIzjbFTKTpWCFvL3IvkE0Bux3UgNxeOvJCacCng4Uvvkvri/s320/Brooklynn+082.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850995708409170" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 325px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s1600/Brooklynn+069.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWcg4GxXYzFKQjQ1Q9l3buK3xaDSuqFlxSzNU-U2mvRFQHwDj0noR5WlpRdUapKCKZYm4IDXCaHZ8R4tOT-gRUnYsAmadbNVXuP-9u8AuMBDFM5c8WORLxczRJ5dp2cVgEOYnyT4xTrsP/s320/Brooklynn+069.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850990769886658" border="0" /></a> We have been home from the hospital now for 2 weeks. Our stay there is one I never want to do again. Surgery went well and quick. There were three other families there with their children having surgery and I formed a bond with these people just through looks. These people who I had never meet knew exactly how I felt. There is a special waiting area for families going through our situation. You watched as they got updates on their children and sometimes it was smiles and other times it was tears. These were the same updates we got with Brooklynn, some good and some not so good. Our biggest scare was the night after surgery in the the ICU. She was given 2 doses of pain medication and was unable to breath on her own. Tommy and I sat there as we watch her vitals drop rapidly. I cried as I watched thinking how I hadn't been able to hold her and touch her in two days. The Dr.'s and nurses helped her to where she began to breath on her own. We spent 5 nights in the ICU and then were moved to a room. The first night was one of the hardest. She cried for 3 hours. She was given Tylenol for pain and it wasn't working. She went from being on IV's for pain to oral Tylenol. I asked that the Dr. come and look at her. He then asked me what I thought was wrong with her and I lost it. I explained to him that I am not a doctor and I wanted to know what he thought was wrong her. It was not a pretty situation for anyone. She finally fell asleep. She next morning she was hoarse from all the crying. We spent another 2 nights as they slowly weaned her off oxygen. Eight days after surgery we were on our way home. Yes home. The first few days were rough. They told us she has reflux and is on the max dose. This they thought was the cause of long periods of crying. As each day passes things have improved. She has started to smile, giggle, and almost roll from back to tummy. She has also found her toes, it's so cute. She has also moved to her own room and is sleeping in her crib. I can't believe it! We go back to Houston Thursday and we hope everything will continue to look better. Her last x-ray didn't look awesome but not worse. My praying knees are not weak. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s1600/Brooklynn+077.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMLxv5Fx8q75cUeK8i189FY01Dnik-b4kJ3KfNxN5OQLlTfJgb_NSxbAhQJ6xA_pr9tIib9EfYUEAFB3d0JZ4OCYMYdgUFXP0QTsSXjjoqAyOuTxPXsJwuhyphenhyphenogi16bH9onUCOHQTiCZWZX/s320/Brooklynn+077.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600850992618969714" border="0" /></a>

Scarest time of my life

We arrived at TCH Monday for tests to be done to make sure Brooklynn was healthy. It was not fun to watch my baby cry all morning while she was being poked and squeezed. Everything came back normal and we were admitted to the 15th floor. She was able to eat until midnight and then fluids would begin in order to prepare for surgery at 7:00 am the following morning. I woke up at 5:00am filled with many mixed emotions....happy, sad, scared, relieved. 7:00 am came and went. 7:15 am the PA for Dr. McKenzie came in to tell us the surgery had been canceled due to an emergency earlier that morning. It was rescheduled for Wednesday, the following day, at 7:00 am. I was devastated. I cried. She was taken off of fluids and was able to eat. She was a very happy baby all day. That night at midnight she was again placed on fluids. I do not sleep this night. At 6:45 am I went out to the nurses station to ask if they had called for her. She had not heard anything. 7:00 am came and went. 7:15 I went out again and nothing. 7:30 an OR nurse came to get us! We went to a holding room where all her vitals were checked and went over a few more details of the procedure. Then it was time to hand my baby's life over to a complete stranger. Brooklynn was looking straight into my eyes and I told her I loved her, to be strong, and that I would see her soon. They took her out of my arms and I felt like a piece of me was ripped out of my body. We then went to the waiting room. The PA gave hourly updates and things were going well. At 2:30 surgery was over. We would have to wait an hour and then we could go see her. When we were able to go see her she looked so much better then what I was expecting. She was resting comfortably as she would for the next day. Over the next 24 hours she was improving so well we hoped to be out of ICU by Friday. Thursday night however took an awful turn for the worst. She was very agitated and was given a new sedative to calm her. After about 30 minutes her saturated oxygen level dropped from 100 to 60 in a matter of seconds and her heart rate went from 110 t0 170. By the time the nurse went to call the Dr. her levels returned to normal. However, about 5 minutes later the same thing happened but they didn't come back up. A team of Dr.s and staff came rushing into the room. My heart fell into my stomach and I thought my baby was dying and I haven't held her in 2 days. The Dr's began to breath for her. After about 15 minutes she was stable. Since then the Dr.s have been more aggressive with medicine since she has not been responding the way they would like. We were hoping to be out of CVICU yesterday but now looking at Monday. Tommy was able to hold B today and feed her. I am still too scared with all the wires. But I did rub her back, talk to her, held her hand, and rubbed her head until she fell asleep. She is an angel!

I have 4 more days with my angel before she gets her heart fixed! I am trying not to think about it, I get all teary eyed when I do. I am trying to enjoy every moment I have with her. We have been on walks all week. We go for about an hour, it's the only thing lately that seems to sooth her. She has not been wanting to eat and screams, yes screams, when we put the bottle to her mouth. I have never heard her make those noises before. Sometimes she starts screaming for no reason! I am going to give it the rest of today and tomorrow and if things don't improve I am going to take her to the Dr. She doesn't have a fever but I'm thinking maybe her ears are bothering her. I really have no idea! I am crossing my fingers that she is just being stubborn because if she is sick it could delay surgery. Ms. Cheryl came over this morning for a weight check and Brooklynn has gained 2 oz since last week. She is now 8lbs 10oz on her scale. She has been growing in length and is now 22 inches!

Last weekend we were able to meet several families with D.S. babies. Many of the children there also had to have their hearts repaired. I found that to be extremely helpful. We now have an idea of what to expect. I wish that this is still something we didn't have to prepare for but I can't change that. I am so ready to just enjoy my baby with a healthy heart!

Today we had our last visit with Dr. Sapire at TCH until after surgery. Our visit was ok, not great, but ok. She has gained an ounce in two weeks. On their scale she is 8lbs 4oz. We were hoping for a bigger gain but it's not backwards. Brooklynn just feels so heavy these last few days. She had another set of chest x-rays done and they looked good. The medicine is limiting the amount of blood that is going into her lungs. The good news is that she is stable and healthy for surgery. She will be admitted April 4th and the surgery is April 5th. I originally thought the surgery lasted 8-9 hours but if there are not any complications it could be 4-5 hours. That was a big relief for me. Two weeks from today will be her "heart day" which I know we will get to celebrate every year! I just wanted to thank all my family and friends for your support. I am so overwhelmed by the love I feel from others. Here is a 3 month picture taken by our dear friend Heather!

Brooklynn will get her heart fixed April 5th, she will be admitted April 4th. I have jumped up and down with joy and have fallen to the floor and cried with fear. Emotional rollercoaster. I spoke with the nurse this morning and the ICU is booked. They have moved other surgeries around to make room for her. I have dealt with denial, that this could not be happening to me, my child, or my family. It lead to anger from the feelings of grief and inexplicable loss that I didn't know how to explain or deal with. Now I am powerless. I can not change what is happening and it is very difficult to accept. It is extremely hard to be forced to rely on the judgments, opinions and recommendations of others. Even though it does not seem possible, good things will happen each day. I am still mad at God but now asking that he doesn't take her from me now. That would just be mean.

We had an awesome week so far. We had a great visit with Adam, Beth , Laura and Ben. The boys got to go play golf while us girls girls had Brooklynn's 3 month pictures. Heather takes the most amazing pictures! Then we had Tommy's brother Billy and his family come. We had a blast playing with Max, Olivia and Georgia! Tommy heated up the pool to 95! Here on some pics!

We have made it home from TCH. We met with the surgeon, Dr. McKenzie. He seemed very knowledgeable. He went over every last detail. He explained everything they plan to focus on once they open her chest. They will go through the breast bone. After surgery, she will be in ICU for 4-5 nights and then moved to a "normal" room for another 4-5 nights if everything goes as planned. One major complication, which he said was very uncommon, would be that they could put a stitch on a certain area of her heart which would require a pace maker for the rest of her life because it would cause her heart to beat slower than it should. She will need at least one blood transfusion. She is o+. Tommy and I will donate our blood for Brooklynn. We are now waiting for the scheduler to call to set the date. Dr. McKenzie has said the end of March or beginning of April will be the first open time. Once again, we wait.