Scarest time of my life

We arrived at TCH Monday for tests to be done to make sure Brooklynn was healthy. It was not fun to watch my baby cry all morning while she was being poked and squeezed. Everything came back normal and we were admitted to the 15th floor. She was able to eat until midnight and then fluids would begin in order to prepare for surgery at 7:00 am the following morning. I woke up at 5:00am filled with many mixed emotions....happy, sad, scared, relieved. 7:00 am came and went. 7:15 am the PA for Dr. McKenzie came in to tell us the surgery had been canceled due to an emergency earlier that morning. It was rescheduled for Wednesday, the following day, at 7:00 am. I was devastated. I cried. She was taken off of fluids and was able to eat. She was a very happy baby all day. That night at midnight she was again placed on fluids. I do not sleep this night. At 6:45 am I went out to the nurses station to ask if they had called for her. She had not heard anything. 7:00 am came and went. 7:15 I went out again and nothing. 7:30 an OR nurse came to get us! We went to a holding room where all her vitals were checked and went over a few more details of the procedure. Then it was time to hand my baby's life over to a complete stranger. Brooklynn was looking straight into my eyes and I told her I loved her, to be strong, and that I would see her soon. They took her out of my arms and I felt like a piece of me was ripped out of my body. We then went to the waiting room. The PA gave hourly updates and things were going well. At 2:30 surgery was over. We would have to wait an hour and then we could go see her. When we were able to go see her she looked so much better then what I was expecting. She was resting comfortably as she would for the next day. Over the next 24 hours she was improving so well we hoped to be out of ICU by Friday. Thursday night however took an awful turn for the worst. She was very agitated and was given a new sedative to calm her. After about 30 minutes her saturated oxygen level dropped from 100 to 60 in a matter of seconds and her heart rate went from 110 t0 170. By the time the nurse went to call the Dr. her levels returned to normal. However, about 5 minutes later the same thing happened but they didn't come back up. A team of Dr.s and staff came rushing into the room. My heart fell into my stomach and I thought my baby was dying and I haven't held her in 2 days. The Dr's began to breath for her. After about 15 minutes she was stable. Since then the Dr.s have been more aggressive with medicine since she has not been responding the way they would like. We were hoping to be out of CVICU yesterday but now looking at Monday. Tommy was able to hold B today and feed her. I am still too scared with all the wires. But I did rub her back, talk to her, held her hand, and rubbed her head until she fell asleep. She is an angel!